You Create Your Own Reality. I know right?  This seems ludicrous.  Things happen outside of your control, events that you never planned consciously take place for good or bad…  I imagine there are some of you reading this who think I lost my marbles when I wrote the heading to this page.

However, stay with me for a minute and I will explain…

The events that occur in your life are neutral.  They just are, not good nor bad.  Everything is what it is.  These things become good or bad depending on how you think about them.  It’s the meaning that you attribute to things/events/people that create your reality.

When you realise that thoughts are just thoughts and that they can be changed, life becomes different.  You no longer identify with your thoughts.  They are not part of you, they just pop in to your head.  You don’t really have any conscious control about the thoughts that pop in, but you can decide whether you want to let them stay or not.  You can also decide to delete them if they are not helpful and replace them with something more positive.


First, you need to cultivate a sense of self-awareness

In any given moment, there is a part of you having your experience and at the same time, there is a part of you that can step aside and notice that experience.

Imagine that you are the conductor of an orchestra and your thoughts are the members of that orchestra.  If the conductor doesn’t show up, the members of the orchestra play their sheet music but it’s all a bit chaotic.  Each members holds to it’s own timing and there is nothing holding it together.  Now, as soon as the conductor turns up, he starts to organise the orchestra into a whole.  Each member gets it’s turn to play at the right time and things are harmonious.

Your thinking is the same.  How many times have you lain awake at night and can’t get to sleep because you have all of these thoughts running around?  You feel as though you can’t control it and you are the victim of a runaway mind.  Cultivating the part of you that can remain emotionally disconnected from the thoughts and make decisions about what thoughts are useful to hold or act on, and those thoughts that weaken rather than strengthen you, is the key to a harmonious life.  This step is simple, but requires practice.  All that needs to happen is to take the time periodically to ask yourself – what am I thinking about?  Is this thought enhancing my life experience or diminishing it?


Second, Stay in the Present Moment

Often, our thoughts are running off into the past, or creating a future catastrophe that may not even happen.  Noticing these past or future thoughts and changing your focus to the present moment is a good way to quieten the orchestra’s chaos.  Ask yourself:  Is this real right now, if it’s something I will need to attend to in the future, I will make a note of it and

think about it then. If I can act on it now, I’ll do that and let it go. If it’s something from the past, I can take action to resolve it or just let it go. Sometimes, our mind just makes up rubbish. It’s useful to notice when that is happening.


Third, Connect to Your Current Experience

Use your 5 senses to notice what is around you: What can I smell, taste, touch, see, hear? Focussing on your diaphragmatic breathing (see another resource sheet) will also help you to get out of your head and into your present experience, which, after all, is exactly what your life actually is.



Download this as a PDF for future reference.